Dry January

If there is one thing that we can all agree on, is that the year 2020 was a very life altering, life changing, rough year for everyone. Very different from the normal indeed, and even though we are 40 days into 2021, we are still carrying the hangover from last year. I guess the length of the hangover depends on who you are, your career, family situation, lifestyle, geographic location, and many other aspects of life.

For me, 2020 was a great year in certain aspects and a very difficult in some others. My bitcoin ATM business grew tremendously during the first months of 2020 just to be taken away during the last months of the year (more on that story in a later letter), my family travel plans were completely cancelled, social life was strictly online, my marriage was put to the test, and having to home school my kids became a daily zen and patience challenge, which i guess i failed because one thing is for sure, i started drinking alcohol a lot more than ever before in my life.

During 2020 my drinking got to a point where I was having at least 3 to 5 beers a day around five days a week. On the weekends, i would let myself loose and drink as long as I was able to handle it (my tolerance definitely increased). My excuse was, of course, that the year was really rough, that everyone was drinking more than usual, which is true, and that it was temporary. As time went on, i found myself having a hard time controlling my alcohol intake, the cravings were stronger than ever, and i was become a professional functional alcoholic which was able to hide my drinking.

I have always considered myself prone to addictions and have always played it safe in order not to fall completely into an irreversible addiction problem. At least twice a month, I have a therapy session (online now of course) which allows me to express certain things that sometimes i cant fully express and to helps me keep myself accountable. But i’m aware that “the only person that can truly help you is yourself” but first you have to come to terms that you have an (or many) issues.

As Richard Feynman said “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Well, it got the point that i had to stop the bleeding, and stop it cold turkey. I tried to taper off my alcohol consumption, that did not work. I tried to keep it only to the weekends, and that was a joke. Sooo.. Cold turkey it was the only way.

On December 31st, as I was having some cognac, i made the decision that that was going to be the last day I drank in a while. I did not know how long, but as long as possible. So far, its mid February, Im still keeping that promise. Not sure how long will it last as Im taking it one day at a time, but i’m definitely enjoying being clean.

The benefits have been amazing:

• I have more energy than ever without the need for more caffeine.

• I wake up earlier and feel great about it.

• My mind is so much more alert and clear than ever before.

• I feel I can drive anytime anywhere without the fear of DUI’s.

• I can have any conversation anytime as my mind is at ease and alert at the same time

• Im saving money and a lot of time.

• I don’t have to apologize afterwards for inappropriate comments or conversations.

• Definitely a better marriage.

I will be more than glad to share if things change as I would not be surprised if they do, specially because this time I am making the effort to not make myself feel guilty if I relapse.